Rain
Woke up this morning with
a terrific urge to lie in bed all day
and read. Fought against it for a minute.Then looked out the window at the rain.
And gave over. Put myself entirely
in the keep of this rainy morning.Would I live my life over again?
Make the same unforgivable mistakes?
Yes, given half a chance. Yes.–Raymond Carver
————————————————————————————————————-
The greatest weight — What, if some day or night a demon were to steal after you into you loneliest loneliness and say to you: “This life as you now live it and have lived it, you will have to live once more and innumberable times more; and there will be nothing new in it, but every pain and every joy and every thought and sigh and everything unutterably small or great in your life will have to return to you, all in the same succession and sequence — even, this spider and this moonlight between the trees, and even this moment and I myself. The eternal hourglass of existence is turned upside down again and again, and you with it, speck of dust!”
Would you not throw yourself down and gnash your teeth and curse the demon who spoke thus? Or have you once experienced a tremendous moment when you would have answered him: “You are a god and never have I heard anything more divine.” If this thought gained possession of you, it would change you as you are or perhaps crush you. The question in each and every thing, “Do you desire this once more and innumerable times more?” woud lie upon your actions as the greatest weight. Or how well disposed would you have to become to yourself and to life to crave nothing more fervently than this ultimate eternal confirmation and seal?
–Friedrich Nietzsche, The Gay Science